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10 things that happens with you when you are on a Cruise- By Rohit Bhattacharya

You never know what might happen on a cruise, and I mean that in the best way possible. Going on one of these cruises is exciting because apart from all the attractions you see on the brochure, there’s a whole different world of craziness that you can only experience once you’re on the ship, craziness that’s hard to define but almost always fun, amusing and totally memorable! Here are some of the craziest things that happen on a cruise!

1. Mini golf on a ship!

Everyone knows there’s a multitude of pools and hot tubs on board a cruise ship, but what really blew my mind was the dedicated mini golf course, especially considering the fact that there was nothing mini about it! You can while away hours on this thing, and it’s heaps of fun, especially for a person who’s never putt a ball in his life. I may have broken a few windows though, and I definitely knocked out at a couple of fish. Golf balls are hard!

2. Professional Ice Skating Performances

One of the last things you’d expect to see in the middle of the Malacca Straits is a professional ice skate troupe perform, but that’s exactly what you get. On the Mariner of the Seas, the ice rink isn’t just to play around, it’s used by a skilled troupe of people from all over the world, and trust me, the show is magnificent! A nifty little trick I learned is to just sit down on the rink and ask someone to push you around, totally worth it!

3. The person you awkwardly bump into EVERYWHERE

It’s all good if it’s someone you get along with, but if it’s someone who’s kind of weird, then things get really awkward. You’ll somehow bump into them at the farthest corners of the ship, from the corner table at the dining room to midway through the swimming pool, and small talk gets old really fast! If nothing else, try blending in with the surroundings, or just tell them you’ve caught an infection, you’ll probably never see them closer than 10 feet again!

4. Photo sessions with famous characters

Another nifty surprise is the costumed camera opportunities with all kinds of famous characters, ranging from Shrek to the Penguins from the movie Madagascar. It might sound like it’s just for kids, but within minutes, the last people you’d expect end up posing for a funky click. It’s all fun and games until Mickey Mouse starts to twerk though. That’s when shit gets serious!

5. The family that can’t handle their crazy kids

Stay far away from this one. There are kids who are cute and fun, and then there are these little critters, who have driven their parents through multiple nervous breakdowns and now look for other unsuspecting victims. Cooing aunties might fall prey to them, but you certainly shouldn’t!

6. The crazy girl gang

This is either a a bachelorette party or a bunch of wives who decided to make do with some girl time. You’ll find them frolicking at the bars and consequently being escorted back to their cabins after tapping into one too many daiquiris.

7. Full Scale Theater Shows

From tragic dramas, to comedy shows to musicals with amazing singers and a backing band, it’s incredible what these cruises pull off in terms of entertainment. The stage is world class, and so are the performers. Also, they do the show twice in one day and man, is it impressive. Almost made me want to switch to a job in acrobatics!

8. The bands!

Take a walk around the ship at almost any time of day, and you’re bound to pass by one of the numerous bands jamming on literally every kind and genre of music possible. The musicians are stellar, and the songs are so varied that there’s something there for everybody to dance to! Come night-time, it’s fun to watch old drunken couples crooning along to their favourite songs and turning into kids again!

9. A funky farewell disco performance

This send-off is straight out of the 70s, from the music to the getup. There’s flashing lights, running basslines, drinks flowing and a whole lot of dancing. From the 8 year olds to the 80 year olds, everyone gets to moving, and that’s a definite sight to behold! Just wish I had my bell bottoms and platforms!

10. The food! Oh the food!

There’s way too many options for a person with an appetite. You’ve got the 24 hour station that’s got everything from sausage rolls to baked goods and hot beverages. You’ve got lunch and dinner with a buffet spread that stretches farther than the horizon. And then you’ve got the specialty restaurants serving up some banging steaks, soups and all forms of crazy cuisine. It should be illegal to spoil a man so much, but boy am I glad it’s not!

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